None of that’s your fault, Steve.
#god his look of realization in the third gif#that he should’ve gone looking for him#he should’ve gone looking for bucky#even just to bury a body#goooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd (via buckyoubucky)
It will haunt Steve forever. It will haunt Steve that he failed Bucky over and over again in his mind. It will haunt him that his cocksure attitude as the hero of the war is what put Bucky in danger again. It will haunt him that he asked Bucky to go with him when he knew Bucky’s answer would always be yes and knew Bucky would always be the one who fished him out of trouble. It will haunt him that he didn’t stop long enough to realize what that loyalty would mean now that Steve was no longer a 90 lb weakling who could only get up to moderate trouble and was now larger than life. It will haunt him that Bucky died protecting him. It will haunt him that he was a super soldier, but he couldn’t reach his friend when he needed him. It will haunt him that he never bothered to look, that maybe it was too painful and he’d rather simply see him fall in his mind, still alive, rather than go find his broken body. It will haunt him that he was able to put the pieces together SO QUICKLY at this point, but he never even entertained the thought beforehand when HE of all people had a reference to what was going on in the place he rescued Bucky from. It will haunt him that he didn’t give up when Bucky was “dead” before, but he did this time.
Steve’s genesis of guilt isn’t guilt over things he’s done, it’s guilt over things he DIDN’T do. Things he didn’t pay attention to. Things he didn’t think through because he was reckless and idealistic and had something to PROVE. “Sometimes I think you like getting hit…” Steve took on all comers because he wanted to be something USEFUL. Something BIGGER. He could have been more reasonable after he rescued Bucky. He have come up with less reckless plans. Could have…could have…could have. He spent Bucky’s last night before shipping out worrying him and trying to enlist. He spent Bucky’s after-rescue trying to save the world single handed. Always biting off more than he could chew, only now he could chew a LOT more…always focused on his own need to stand up for something. Could have…could have…young and stupid and could have…
And Steve from this point on is coming to the horrific conclusion that Bucky is the one who suffers the brunt of the punishment for that.
No wonder he throws down his shield in the end, even after Sam reminds him Bucky is probably gone. Steve gave up on Bucky too soon beforehand. That’s a mistake Steve will NEVER make again. There’s going to be no could have this time.
I look like an extremely professional fashionable woman in an Abaya. It probably took me AGES to look this professional right?
WRONG. I’m actually wearing my onesie underneath it and you will NEVER KNOW MWAHAHAHA
Wanna know another secret? Even though i LOOK like I’m paying attention to whatever nonsense you are saying…..
I AM ACTUALLY WEARING HEADPHONES AND LISTENING TO MUSIC
THIS IS TOO MUCH POWER FOR ONE PERSON TO HAVE
|—||Terry Pratchett - The Last Continent (via darklordreasonable)|
Clementine. 30x100cm. Acrylic on Canvas. Steve Lodge
"This is what it is to be a dragon”